Expectations, Meet Reality

I am a get-it-done kind of girl. A doer. I am pretty sure that I thrive on getting things done. It's just the way I am wired.

Before I had the boys, I had an administrative-type job in which I was very good at getting things done, managing my time, and being efficient. It was really satisfying for me. I could juggle several hats and still end the day with most, if not all, of my to-do list checked off.

I think you can tell where this is going...

When I quit my job after Ethan was born to stay home full time, I had to learn to adjust to not getting everything done. Although truthfully, one (very easy) baby who sleeps most of the time still allows a good amount of time for productivity. Still, it was different from what I was used to. I was no longer complete master of my time.

And now that I've got two boys, two schedules for each of them, and twice as many caretaker tasks, I have less than half as much time to get anything else done. I'm sure that additional kids only compound this issue. So, reality has finally really hit me this time. I may have a list of 10 things that I really need to get done (and want to get done), but I may only get two crossed off that day. Or one. Or none.

I have really had to confront the fact that I feel very dissatisfied and upset at the end of the day when I don't get things accomplished. (Just ask Casey.) I have been forced to re-define what it means to be productive. Because I AM getting things done....feeding the boys (and Casey), reading to the boys, playing with the boys, dressing the boys...you know, raising the boys. And being a wife. According to that definition, I should probably consider myself very productive at the end of each day, right?

(Two sweet iphone photos.)

That doesn't mean that I am magically okay with the other things still un-done...and that list certainly isn't going anywhere (I currently have two part-time jobs...and laundry). In fact, I think I will always have to remind myself of my "true" productivity every single day in order to stay sane. I think I can see where it can be such a plus to be the type of person that doesn't really care about getting things done. Who doesn't have a list constantly running through their head. Who doesn't gain any pleasure from completing tasks. But I am just not that person and I have to work with my personality...good or bad.

And of course, I know that this is just a season of my life. A sweet season for which I am very grateful.