Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Paradox of Parenthood

This morning, with Casey at home with the boys, I headed off to do a little solo shopping (for myself!). I was celebrating the kid-free trip, which is quiet, carefree, and...efficient. Then, not twnety seconds after I'd turned my music on in the car, I literally freaked out because I glanced in the rear view mirror (like I do frequently) and saw that Logan and Ethan were not in their seats. For a split second, I was afraid that something was wrong...I'm not sure what. That I'd left them at home? Anyway, I freaked out. For a second. That is the paradox of parenthood...I'm alone and getting a quick break, but I immediately feel that something is missing in the car.

Ok, another example would be when Casey and I went on our trip to Florida and were so excited to have a little time to ourselves. To do whatever we wanted. To sleep in. And then, we missed Ethan like crazy. We had a blast, and we definitely enjoyed ourselves. But we also had a little boy back home and we missed his voice and his hugs and his laugh. Gone are the days when we don't miss anyone when we go on vacation. Not that we wouldn't go again in a heartbeat, but there it is...the paradox of parenthood. We're just forever changed because of these little people in our lives. I happen to like it, though.

3 comments:

Mary said...

So very true!!! Plus, I have noticed, whenever I do get out to do a little shopping on my own or get a break, I am ALWAYS aware of the time and the need to be back soon! =0) Glad you took the break anyway, they are needed, even if they are hard. Next time call me and lets run errands together!

Summer, Justin, Blake, and Sutton said...

I know EXACTLY what you mean!!! And that is why Justin and I STILL have not been away from our kids, even after 3.5 years ... sad I know. (Ok, we did leave Blake while we were in the hospital having Sutton ... and we stayed at a hotel for one night on our 6th anniversary.) And you are right ... whenever I leave the house by myself, my mind kind of panics and I have to call and check on them!

Emily said...

I'm so happy for you guys and your sweet family! Those are two very lucky little boys!